Skip to main content

Does your child know the F-word? Where do you think he learnt that?



"Mum, do you know the f-word?" asked my little one the other day.
"Do you know it?" I asked him in return.
"Of course I do, and I also know the s-word!" he told me smugly, before he was (thankfully) distracted by something on the TV; leaving me to thank my stars that I did not have to go any deeper in that discussion today. Phew!

You know, I am often asked by people to recommend books for their children of various ages and in various genres; and I am more than happy to help. I have always enjoyed reading since my childhood and I am only too happy to help others enjoy this wonderful habit too. And what is really heartening, is to see parents being diligent and concerned that their children only read age-appropriate books, preferably classics, by well-heeled authors; and most importantly, with very less or absolutely no swear words.


But as delightful as it is to recommend a lovely book; I wish parents also asked for recommendations about other things their children should see or do. Not because the parents do not know their parenting, but because it is sometimes very difficult, as young people themselves, for parents to put ‘doing right by their children’ above their own enjoyment. Now you are wondering what I am getting at; and you are thinking, “hey, we know what we are doing, we are the parents; and we know what our duties towards our children are. We don’t need you to teach us parenting!” And maybe I would agree.

In fact I want to; but I cannot, because I see a lot of parents letting their children do things that aren’t really meant for children. I have seen many parents turn a blind eye to what the effect of such things is on their little ones. One cannot blame them as they are really tired after a stressful week and there is only so much a person can handle – especially a young person who is trying to climb the corporate ladder, run a house and raise children all at the same time! So yes, parents need their down time too.   

And yet, despite it being no business of mine, and at the risk of sounding like a moral police to my fellow parents, I feel there is so much that is going wrong! Of course anyone is free to stop reading this post any moment and by all means move on to the next thing you want to do. But before that, take a step back and think. Think how we spend our downtime and for a moment, imagine how it impacts our children. What do we normally do to beat the stress? Do we watch TV? Do we go mall-hopping on weekends? Do we watch a new movie every weekend? Do we order food online frequently? Do we take children to pubs? (Okay family pubs, but pubs nevertheless…); and when we do all these things ‘to get out of the rut’ or because we are ’bored and stressed out after a hectic week’ do we stop and think – “are these things meant for children?”

You see, we want to see our favourite super stars in the movie theatre, or we want to see the latest critically acclaimed movie, or we want to visit the newly opened mall in the area (oh, we know it is over-the-top but we only want to do window-shopping); but by making these activities as routine weekend activities, we more or less ‘teach’ our children that this is the way of life! For them a weekend doesn’t mean winding down or making a visit to the garden or to a library anymore; no, to them a weekend is to go to the mall, have a leisurely lunch and watch the latest movie. Then maybe, if they find themselves in the mood, visit a (family) pub too!

“Work hard and party harder” is the mantra of most present generation parents; but we forget, children only see us partying, they don’t really see us working hard. So when these children grow up and it is their turn to work hard; how do you think they are going to react? Already, because of helicopter parenting and buddy parenting and so on, our children are becoming more and more used to getting maximum benefits with minimum efforts; so how is this compulsion to go mall and pub hopping over the weekends work out for them, especially since they aren’t used to the hard work that needs to be put in during the week to earn enough to have these expensive hobbies?

Not only that, when we show them the latest movies every week, we just think of it as a “timepass”; but children are at an impressionable age; and they take their heroes very seriously. So when they see their heroes smuggling liquor bottles in school bags and justifying a liquor business by distributing food for the community during curfew, what are they really learning? When children see movies that are not really meant for their age (which is everything that is not animated; and even some animated ones, in fact); they are exposed to things that are beyond their comprehension. And instead of thinking about the rights and the wrongs of it as we adults might do, they think that is the right thing! It is no wonder then that most children talk about kissing, fighting and even “hot and sexy” and the cherry on the cake - "the f-word" and "the s-word" in the school when the teacher isn’t listening!

Is this what we want our children to grow up doing? Many parents today say things like “oh, these children! All that these kids talk about today is so ‘not their age’!” But why hasn’t anyone realised yet that we parents are the ones responsible for exposing our children to these things in the first place. Everyone is concerned our children know the f-word and the s-word; but no one is ready to take the responsibility of taking children to a garden or a museum or a library on a weekend instead of a movie so they know better, really relevant words!

I know I will get a lot of flak for this post and most parents will just say “none of your business” or “it’s different from parents to parents” or something like that and dismiss this post; but I really think it is high time we realise, that be it watching TV in the confines of our home or be it taking our children out to the malls and the movies – the most important question we need to ask ourselves is, is this really meant for children?     



f    

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

आईचा ब्रेक

मिस्टर सानेंनी हळू डोळे उघडले. खिडकीतून उन्हं येत होती. खाडकन जागे झाले. दुपार झाली कि काय! घड्याळ बघितल, हुश्श, आठच वाजतायेत! पण पुढच्याच क्षणी लक्षात आलं, आठ वाजले तरी किचन मधून काही आवाज येत नाहीयेत. आज तर गुरुवार, वर्किंग डे, एव्हाना किचन मधून आवाजच नव्हे तर तर-तर्हेचे वासही यायला हवेत. डबा तयार झाला असला पाहिजे, चहा तयार झाला आला पाहिजे. पण आज कसलीच हालचाल दिसत नाही! शेजारी पहिल तर मिसेस सानेही शेजारी नाहीत. काय भानगड आहे बुआ आज?   चष्मा चढवून मिस्टर साने बेडरूम मधून बाहेर आले. मिसेस सानेंचा घरात कुठेच पत्ता नव्हता! गेली कुठे  ही? मिस्टर सानेंनी सुनबाईंना विचारायच ठरवलं. पण श्वेता त्यांना कुठे दिसेना. इतक्यात, "गुडमॉर्निंग  बाबा!" म्हणत श्वेता जांभई देत बाहेर आली आणि त्यांच्या उत्तराची वाट न पाहता, तडक  "गुडमॉर्निंग आई" म्हणत किचन मध्ये गेली. मिस्टर साने तिला काही सांगणार इतक्यात,  "अहो बाबा, आई कुठेयत?" म्हणत पुन्हा बाहेर आली. एव्हाना तिची झोप पूर्णपणे उडाली होती. "माहित नाही बुआ, मला वाटलं तुला काही बोलली असेल..."   त्यांना वा

Love them or hate them....

"Behind every great kid is a mom who is pretty sure she is getting it all wrong", they say. True, parenting is a game of 'wait and watch.' There is no right or wrong here; or nothing that is a sure fire success mantra. Everyone has a different take on on how they wish to raise their young ones. And it is the choices that parents make that impact their children majorly. 

Of life lessons and listening to one’s heart - Mrs. B speaks

Small pleasures matter in life. Really small, everyday pleasures. Like, being able to smell the garden in full bloom on a hot summer day, or being able to have a hot water bath in cold weather. Or even being able to drink a hot cup of coffee first thing in the morning. Or, for that matter, being able to eat junk food to one’s heart’s content! Ah, bliss! Oh, I almost forgot, for those of you who haven’t met me before , myself, Mrs. Bhagirathi. The kids in my building call me Mrs. B. I am a housewife. Or better still – a homemaker. I work from home and generally spend time reading and surfing the internet when the kids and my husband are away for the day. I also cook and clean, and wash and iron clothes – but I guess all that is included in the title of “homemaker.” So no special mention needed. So, like I was saying, life is a sum total of small pleasures. And what I said about junk food, is absolutely true. Especially when you think of the cheeseburger. Or the veggie bur