As we bid adieu…

In the next three days, we will step into the New Year. Make a clean new beginning – bidding farewell to something old and familiar. I hate goodbyes. But then, I also love new beginnings! And what better than the fag end of the year to remind us of that?
And so I sit, lost in thought, at the dining room table, watching the sunlight stream through the bay window, the light catching shimmering threads in the sheer curtain that adorns the window, and has rarely ever been used in the past year. I need to use those curtains, I think. Draw them close at least once in the New Year. For that matter, I need to have a place of my own to work from too, not just end up at the dining table with my laptop – another thing to get done in the New Year.
But even as I think it, I know I will never use that curtain. It will just stay there, adorning the two ends of the window. Nor will I ever get organised in a single place that will be my ‘place of work’ in the house… because that is how I roll. That is exactly how I am. Not too organised, not too pragmatic. A spontaneous person, more likely to do something on an impulse, than because I planned it.
I am not one for ‘taking stock’ of the year that has just gone by. Nor am I someone to analyse what happened in this year, or what I learnt from it. Of course, I am not a total wacko who walks in the clouds, though. I do learn from my experiences. But I operate more on an abstract plane than the more practical, tangible one that most people operate on.
Someone else in my place, for example, would tell you that in this year, I had a lot of new experiences and met a lot of new people. And some old ones too, who I’d have rather preferred not to ever meet again. (I say this not because I hold any bitter sentiments in my heart about these people, but because on meeting them again, I realised that some people just don’t change. They are the same old jerks that they have always been. And that makes me feel good about having stayed away from them.)
Someone else in my place would also tell you that I did a lot of new things this year. Things that took me out of my comfort zone and made me realise that I am capable of more than what I thought I was. It is important to constantly keep testing your boundaries. And to try to better yourself at every possible opportunity.
Someone else in my place, would also tell you that I have understood that people can say a lot of things, but it is not what they say, but what they ‘mean to say’ that really matters. You need to keep your ears open to really ‘listen’ to what people are saying.
That friendships are as long lasting as the efforts you are willing to put in them. And that relationships, need work. Not everyone who says they are your friend, might really be your friend. While some may really be, there would also be others, who keep you closer so they can keep tabs on you. And that it is important to learn to identify such friends and distinguish them from the real ones.
That it is important to remember that ‘people are not permanent.’ And once you properly understand this it will make a big difference in the way you view things and experience them.
I am not the kind who thinks very practically, as I have already mentioned. But someone else in my place, would tell you that this year has taught me that it is important to be pragmatic about at least some things.
Because the world is made up of all kinds of people. Some, who think with their brains, others, who think with their heart. And while the world continues to work with all these kinds of people inhabiting it, it is the people who think with their heart that are more likely to be the ones to get hurt. That it is important to learn not to wear your heart on your sleeve.
If I were someone who kept tabs on things or rated my experiences or had been good at listing down things, I would have told you that it is the most important thing to be grateful for everything you have in life. Every little thing. It is always easier to identify what we lack, and what we cannot do, or do not possess. But it is very important to remember, that we are still way more fortunate than those who do not even have what we have. And that they are some, who look at us and think, if only….
This, in fact, is one of the most important learnings from this year that I take with me in the next. The realisation that ‘if only…’ is a myth – nothing but wishful thinking – denial, even (as some of my pragmatic friends might say). And I agree. Yes, we all do a lot of wishful thinking all the time. And while it is alright, we cannot close our eyes to the way things actually are. Even an impulsive, impractical person like me has realised this.
And finally, one thing that I definitely will not forget, that this year has taught me, is that it is important to recognise that everyone has a point of view and everyone wants to be heard. There are more people speaking than there are people listening. Sometimes, people are selfish. Sometimes they are not. Sometimes people pretend to be one thing but are actually something else. It is only them who know their motivations, but it is easy to presume that you understand their intent and get put off by it.
I know I am burning a lot of bridges, thinking this way, this year. In fact, as my best friend always reminds me, I am really ‘very good at burning bridges.’ But I say, it is what it is, and I am what I am. That it is very important to stick to one’s principles. After all, if I don’t stand up for myself, who else will? And if it means I burn a few bridges to make my point, well, I’ll be damned and take that chance.
So, as we bid adieu to this year, I step into the next, as impractical and as impulsive as ever – but wiser, nevertheless, and a little bit tougher (maybe); definitely having burnt a few bridges, while looking forward to building some new ones.


Pic Courtesy: Pixabay