Of Nepotism, Dreams and Parenting – Mrs. B Speaks

What is wrong with people these days? I don’t get it! I mean, this Mrs. Dixit! Uff! What is it to her if a certain desi girl marries a foreigner younger than her? To hear Mrs. Dixit speak, you would think it is not this daddy’s li’l girl, but her own daughter who has decided to get hitched to a singer….

Oh, pardon me, I haven’t introduced myself… How daft of me! Myself, Mrs. Bhagirathi…. Mrs. B, you remember? We have met before! In fact, we have met not once, but twice, I believe….

So, let me tell you from the beginning what happened. Today, after the school bus left, I was taking my usual rounds around the building, when my neighbour Mrs. Dixit joined me. I was listening to songs on my phone, and really was not very happy with the interruption. But then, living in the same building, sharing space on the same floor, even sharing the same maid – there is nothing I could do, but endure. And endure I did.

So as we walked, we struck up a conversation. After listening for a good ten minutes about the futility of Mr. Dixit’s existence in Mrs. Dixit’s life, I began mentally planning my day and almost completely forgot that the lady was walking next to me. I was done with most of the day and was now mentally checking my fridge for what I could make for dinner, when I thought I heard her mention something that caught my attention.

“I am sorry, what?” I asked.

“Didn’t you read it on Facebook?” she asked me, incredulous.

“Read what?”

“That she is all set to marry this singer who is ten years younger than her!!”

By now I had collected my wits enough not to ask her who she meant. But still, curiosity got the better of me.

“So?” I asked, “Let her marry. What is it to us?” (Read, what is your problem?)

“What do you mean what is it to us? Such a big age gap! Isn’t it weird?” she actually stopped in her tracks and asked me.

I had moved a couple of steps ahead by now. So I came back to where she stood, motioning her to continue walking, and said, “So what if it is a big age gap? Didn’t our ancestors marry really young girls at one point in time? Well, now the tide is just slowly changing, is all…”

I must have said something wrong, surely; because the next thing I know, Mrs. Dixit took off as if she was participating in a fast walking race!

Oops! Mrs. Dixit was quite young when she had married the much older Mr. Dixit! *Facepalm* Sighing, I followed. “Oh, leave it na,” I said, trying to make peace; “let it be. It is her decision, what can we do?” That had no effect on her, of course, and she continued to walk briskly ahead of me.

I caught up with her, almost at a run now, and offered an olive branch. “Anyway, you tell me, what other news did you read on your Facebook?”

That slowed her down.

You see, our Mrs. Dixit, she is a good lady. With her children grown and having flown the nest, she is a relatively new entrant on the social media; and she has taken to this social circus…I mean circuit… like a duck to water! She enjoys spending time on social media – forwarding messages on WhatsApp (as received), when she is not stalking her children on Facebook. It has helped alleviate her loneliness, and she really does get lonely, seeing as Mr. Dixit is always found in Mr. Gomes’ flat playing carrom at almost all hours, now that Mrs. Gomes has passed away. (Really, the man seems to have gone back to his bachelor days! It is almost as if he goes home only to eat and sleep…and maybe bathe, but I have my doubts… anyway)

“Are you listening?”

Here we go again! “I am sorry, I was thinking something…”

“Of course you were!”

“Sorry, you were saying..?”

“Did you see your favourite actor’s announcement today? “Holding her in my hands…”” she said, making quotation marks in the air and meaningfully looking at me.

I knew I was supposed to know this. I knew I was…. Oh, my goodness! She was talking about the news!!

“Oh, yes, yes,” I nodded. “I saw that…”

“Don’t you think she is still too young?” Mrs. Dixit asked.

“Well, they are usually all….” I began. But Mrs. Dixit wasn’t really listening.

“Why would he let his daughter get out so soon, I don’t understand!” she went on. “I mean, he is from the same industry. Doesn’t he know what all goes on there? Why would he still let her go through all of it?”

“Now, now, Mrs. Dixit,” I said, “the girl insists, from what I read about her. And she is also a theatre enthusiast. A very well-known yesteryear actress has in fact, recently, even praised this girl’s acting prowess… So anyway what can a father to do in this case? A girl wants what she wants…”

“Oh come on, it is not like she is asking for a puppy, is it?” Mrs. Dixit huffed. “You know what I feel? It should’ve been that farmer’s daughter on the cover. The one who won the Gold medal for our country recently? But no one will put her on the cover! They will put this girl, instead!”

I wanted, with all my heart, to tell Mrs. Dixit that what she said about the farmer’s daughter – the nation’s pride – was true; but the fact couldn’t be ignored that this was a fashion magazine, we were talking about. And that for it to sell, it needed fashionistas like this girl… 

However, we had finished our rounds by now, and it was time to bid Mrs. Dixit adieu.

Now I am safely back home and checking my own Facebook for news, as I have my breakfast. And guess what, my timeline has so many people talking about this very same news!

Honestly, I don’t understand why people are surprised. It was going to happen anyway, sooner or later. I also don’t understand why they keep harping on big words like nepotism and preferential treatment. I mean, yes, star kids do have an easy entry, granted; but then merely gaining an entry isn’t enough. It is also important that they do need to have some real talent to actually sustain.   

I also read a tweet by someone saying 'trust these star kids to trample on our dreams...' I don't get it. You either dream or you don't. And if you do, you believe in your dreams. You trust them to work out. And work towards realising them. Someone else doing something...how is that trampling on your dreams? 

What’s more, I really find it funny that people talk of nepotism like they are immune to it themselves. I mean, don’t most of the very same people put pictures of their own children on social media for their friends to ooh and aah over them? Don’t they do everything in their power, as parents, to give the best they possibly can, to their own children? So how is this super star any different? Isn’t he a father too? Doesn’t he feel the pressure too?

Okay, I know he is my favourite, and this may seem biased. But it is not so. So many people like him. So many don’t. His popularity, as far as I am concerned, has got nothing to do with his acting prowess or his looks. It’s just him being him. And yes, it is also the character he portrays when he plays, on screen, the man women want to see.

But that is not really, why I feel this incident is nothing to write home about. If it were anyone else in his place, I would’ve felt the same. Because all I see here, is a father trying to give the best he possibly can give to his child, nothing more. A child, who insists on wanting something. Something the child has grown up seeing as a way of life. Something the father can afford to give, having worked so hard to be able to do it.  

*Sigh* of course, while the best we can do for our children is save every penny and make it available for their future studies (?); this actor using his position and considerable influence to pave the way for his child, does suck, maybe. But I feel, what is so wrong in cutting him some slack?

Then again. If we start letting all these things go, what will Mrs. Dixit and I have to discuss about on our morning walk? And when my children refuse to study and spend hours in front of the mirror, grooming; how would I be able to say, “Enough spending time in front of the mirror! You are not going for a photo shoot for a fashion magazine! Nor does your father have the kind of influence it takes to make that happen. So till your picture appears in a trending magazine, you better spend your time with your books, more than your looks!”

Pic courtesy Freepik.com