A Fresh Start

“Don’t run on the lawn!”

Meera looked up from her laptop.

It was Sunday morning and while Meera caught up on her mails and other news, Pari, her niece, and Ayah, Pari’s caretaker-cum-nanny-cum-companion-cum-governess were in the garden. Ayah was pruning the roses, while Pari was jumping around the garden and playing in the shade of the orange trees lining the compound wall. All the time, trampling over the lawn that Ayah had freshly watered – hence, the reprimand.

Meera smiled. Ayah was good for Pari. She ensured that the girl kept her head on her shoulders despite being a ‘gifted’ child of above average intelligence, who was ‘pampered’ and ‘spoilt silly’ (according to Ayah) by Meera. It felt just like yesterday – although it was almost close to nine years now – that Pari and Ayah had walked into Meera’s home, and her life.

Meera’s sister had died giving birth to Pari. Pari’s father had never been around. And thus, Meera had become the sole legal guardian to her infant niece at the ripe young age of twenty one. Of course, it had been a ‘package deal’, with Ayah too, moving in with Pari. And Meera couldn’t thank her stars enough for that! Ayah, bless her, had been with Meera’s sister for a long time. And when tragedy hit, Ayah had found it impossible to leave the little motherless Pari.

Ayah hailed from a village in Mangalore; and as far as anyone knew, had no known family. Meera’s sister – and now Meera and Pari – were the only people she called her own. Of indeterminate age, Ayah had taken it upon herself to ‘mother’ both Pari, as well as Meera. She also saw to the smooth running of the household. She also helped Meera with any odd jobs around the house, and was a huge help when Meera had to travel on work. But most importantly, Ayah was a wonderful, comforting presence, when Meera found the weight of being a single legal guardian to a bouncy, bubbly almost-nine-year-old, too much to bear. 

“Wipe your feet on the mat before you walk around the verandah with those muddy feet!” Ayah shouted again, snapping Meera out of her reverie, as Pari entered the shade of the verandah.

“Yeah!” Pari shouted back, then turned to Meera and made a face, before running inside the house. Meera couldn’t help giggling, but immediately stopped when she saw Ayah coming towards her.  

“Laugh all you want, Akka,” Ayah said, “But I am telling you, you are spoiling this girl! Mark my words, nothing comes of too much pampering.” she said in a huff. Among Ayah’s several duties, the foremost was disciplining Pari, and she took it very seriously.  

“Oh come now! How could I possibly spoil Pari when you are here, huh? You make sure that not only Pari, but even I walk the tightrope around you!” Meera joked.

“Haan haan, you always joke. But really Akka, this girl…”

“Pari is just a child, Ayah. Let her enjoy her childhood. Let her be free. Once she grows up, she has to face the daily grind of life anyway, isn’t it?”

Ayah nodded. Then she sat down on the top step of the verandah, very close to where Meera’s feet had been dangling from the wide swing she sat on.

“If you say it is okay, then it is okay,” Ayah continued, “You are educated. You must know more than I do. I am just an illiterate. What do I know? All that I know is from that children’s paper that you get Pari baby to read out loud and from when I ask her questions about all that she reads. I never went to school, never could explain ‘right’ from ‘wrong’ the way you explain it; although, I knew when something was ‘wrong’ and that I had to run away before anymore ‘wrong’ could be done to me ...”

From what little Meera had heard about Ayah from her sister, she knew that Ayah had run away from her village in the middle of the night, after seriously injuring a male relative of hers. Not that anyone spoke about it, but the abuse, the injustice, hung in the air around Ayah and had toughened her up.

“Akka, I have had my share of troubles,” she continued now. “But I am glad things turned out well for me.” When Ayah smiled, her paan stained lower teeth glowed stark red.

“But we cannot forget, that life can be really unfair at times. And all I am saying is, without enough discipline and seriousness, Pari baby will never be able to face the world. Why, look at all those games she plays on that iPad you have brought her, where she gets to dress up dolls and do up their face and hair! And worst are the movies she watches! Those cartoons! Those will definitely not teach her anything good!”

Meera frowned. She knew Ayah was against Pari being given a lot of screen time. But Pari had a soft spot for Disney movies. Even at almost-nine, Pari loved to watch the Disney movies about Princesses.

“What happened Ayah? What has upset you?” Meera asked.

“Akka, Pari baby likes to watch that one movie – the one with the glass slippers – I don’t think it is the right movie for her to watch Akka. Can we not, not show her that movie?”

“Cinderella?” Meera asked.

“Yes! That is the name! The movie begins all okay, with this hard-working girl treated so badly by her stepmother and stepsisters. Then one day, they show she gets this whole big magical chariot and goes to a party and dances with the prince and wins his heart! And then when she leaves him and comes away, he comes searching for her! Is that even a story, Akka? Her only shot at life, is because the Prince liked how beautiful she looked?”

Meera was amused. She had never seen Cinderella in quite this light before.

“You tell me Akka,” Ayah continued, “Does a pumpkin ever turn into a chariot? And who would be is so dumb as to wear the most impractical glass slippers, Akka? Once you wear them, won’t they break?”

Meera couldn’t help laughing. “What have you got against poor Cinderella, Ayah?” she asked. “The girl was so sad, so ill-treated, and finally she managed to find happiness. Shouldn’t you be happy for her?”

“What ‘managed to find happiness’ Akka? If that Prince hadn’t come searching for her, she would’ve continued to sit and cry all her life! And in any case, in real life, hardly any Prince ever comes to any girl’s rescue. We have to make our life ourselves. We have to stand up, courageously, for our own sake. No one comes looking for us with that impractical glass slipper in hand!” Ayah said vehemently.

“It is just a movie Ayah, a children’s cartoon…”

“No Akka! It leaves a big impression! Have you not seen Pari baby want to dress up pretty-pretty like when that cinder-girl goes for the party? Did she not make you buy that see-through shoe for her birthday?”

“Transparent shoe…”

“Haan haan, transparent shoe. Really, Akka, at this age, everything will leave an impression on Pari baby’s young mind. Don’t they make these cartoon movies on really strong women? Like, Rani Lakshmibai, or Shivaji’s mother Jijabai, or even that girl Malala, baby told me about – the one who took a bullet and won that Noble Prize?”

“Nobel Prize…”

“Yes, yes, Nobel prize. All I am saying is, girls of Pari baby’s age need strong women that they can look up to.” And then something like awe shown on her face. “Look at yourself Akka! You are a good model!”

“Role model,”

“Haan, role model. She should look up to you. She should learn to be independent and confident like you. Instead, she is going to grow up thinking of lovely dresses and nice shoes, and all those princesses’ stuff that you buy for her! But I am telling you Akka, the day she asks for glass shoes, I will have had it!”

Now Meera really laughed out loud. “Oh, Ayah,” she said, “it looks like you really don’t like poor Cinderella!”

“Not that girl alone, Akka, anyone who is a wimp and doesn’t stand up for themselves. We should tell our girls to fight back, or move away, if someone troubles them; not stay put and bear it hoping someone else will come and rescue them! All these young girls today, the only thing they are interested in is make-up and beauty, but no one realises that beauty resides inside their heart. If one does good deeds, they are beautiful already.

‘Our girls should know that their intelligence and their confidence is their real strength. Not their outward beauty that some prince will fall for. We need to tell our girls that they need to stand up for themselves, do something really good that would help the society, change people’s lives – like you did for me – and then they will glow with real beauty. And you know what, that will be when they will be able to survive, with their head held high, even if there is no Prince pining for them. Our girls need to know that they are beautiful as they are and they should work towards making their lives count!”

Meera watched Ayah thoughtfully, and frowned. She marveled at how clearly Ayah had spelled out what exactly we were doing wrong in raising our girls. She knew Ayah’s own experience played a big part in this revelation; but she couldn’t help thinking that with her background, she would’ve expected someone like Ayah to actually fall in love with Cinderella’s story. A fairy tale. And yet, Ayah had seen everything that was wrong with such false hopes being thrust on young, impressionable girls.

Although times were changing and a lot of girls were stepping up their game by getting higher and higher qualifications, by working hard to make their mark in the male dominated world; there were still a lot of people who believed in fairy tales that didn’t necessarily show the right path, give the right message.

What was more, such fairy tales, also built and propagated wrong gender stereotypes. Send a man to a toy store to pick a gift for a girl and nine out of ten times, he would end up buying something pink and fluffy or tell him to pick a movie for a girl and he would be most likely to pick one of these fairy tales where a Prince would rescue a typical damsel in distress. Not that one could blame the man, because that would be exactly the way he would be raised to think. And Meera understood, that nothing would change, unless parents, guardians and teachers took an initiative and showed the girls a different world to grow up in.

“Ayah,” Meera said, excited, “You are right. Let us reduce the amount of time she spends on the screen. Let us take Pari to the lending library today! I will set her up with a card and you can take her there to borrow books whenever she wants. I think she would love books by Enid Blyton to begin with! Let us open up a whole new world or her.”

“Yes! Yes, Akka, lets!” Ayah bobbed her head excitedly, revealing her glowing, paan-stained teeth.  

Pic courtesy: Freepik.com